Name: Hannah Parker

Organisation:

Award Category: Midwife Of The Year

Sponsored By:

Voting Is Now Closed

My Plea:

I am so proud to be a midwife.

I have always known becoming a midwife was all I wanted to do in life. I have always heard about my older sister from my Mum and Dad as I grew up, she was stillborn after a difficult labour. I heard of the lack of support available after such a devastating loss, and saw my parents suffer with the ever-lasting effects this bought. I always knew, even from a young age, this wasn’t right; parents should take their baby home, right? I became determined to devote my life to being a midwife, to be there to assist women, ride the ever changing and evolving wave of maternity care and be there for those who needed the extra support.

I qualified as a midwife from Bangor University in September 2015, during which time I also completed a diploma in grief and bereavement counselling, knowing it would be such an important part of my role. I trained in hospitals and assisting in clinics, which I learnt so much in, however, very quickly learnt my passion lay in the community setting. I loved having the ability to form relationships with women and their families, follow their pregnancy journey and provide the unique support the individual family required. For this reason, I decided to deviate from the ‘norm’ when I qualified and headed straight out to become a caseloading midwife.

For the past four years, I have been able to care for women from as early as 5 weeks gestation, right through to 6 weeks after birth; attending every scan appointment, all routine care, triage advice and support in labour if having baby at home.

The first few weeks of pregnancy can be scary for first time mums, for those after loss, and for those that have tried to conceive for a very long time. It’s such an important part of their journey both physically and mentally. Sadly, most women don’t meet their community midwives and find the reassurance they may need until around 10 – 12 weeks. I feel privileged in my role to be able to extend care into this area. Caring for women at such an early gestation does unfortunately come hand in hand with forming relationships with women who sadly experience miscarriage. Although so heart-breaking, I am very grateful to have been able to provide the best care possible to them and their families; talking about their loss, signposting to support and being with them at such a difficult time: a time where they may otherwise feel so alone and possibly become isolated.

No amount of training, experience or guidance can prepare you for caring for a family after the loss of their baby. I became a midwife to bring babies safely into the world, creating a new chapter in families’ lives. However after supporting families through reduced movements loss, multiple pregnancy loss, life changing ailments, and those who lost babies during pregnancy with no explanation, I quickly realised these families needed me in a completely different way. This has to come from the heart.

I feel so incredibly humbled to be shortlisted for the Butterfly Awards, and the reason I have been nominated is due to the birth of beautiful Elsie.

I attended her Mummy in labour at home last summer in what started as a straightforward and lovely labour. As Elsie was their first baby, I expected to check on them, head home for a while, and come back in the morning when things had progressed. This changed quickly and unexpectedly when Elsie became very unhappy. An ambulance transfer got us to the local hospital where Elsie was eventually born, I watched over her as she was resuscitated after a prolonged period of a low heartbeat. She fought immensely hard for 17 hours making her mummy and daddy so proud, before she lost her little life. No reason or cause has ever found.

Reading Lindsey’s words on submission for the Butterfly Awards brought all the memories back, but knowing I made a difference with the care I have given is so overwhelming:

“From the minute Hannah knocked on our door, I knew she was going to be amazing… I don’t think I realised quite how incredible. The night we were in labour at home, Hannah kept me feeling safe and calm. I didn’t know Elsie had lost her heartbeat, I didn’t’ know an ambulance had been called, I didn’t know Hannah was having the worst situation she could be in. She kept supporting me, she didn’t panic (or at least didn’t let me know if she did!), she kept talking to me. She was the best midwife I could have asked for. She travelled in the ambulance with us, attempting to get Elsie out during the whole journey (although Els was having none of it). She could have left us in the care of the hospital at this point, but she didn’t. She stayed in the room. She held my hand. She watched Elsie’s delivery, her resuscitation and her heart beat again.”

I have never felt so useless in my life. Visiting her on the neonatal unit seeing her surrounded by equipment, seeing the struggle of her amazing parents and the anguish of why this had happened. The only thing I felt I could do was to be there, whenever and wherever I was needed.

I visited Lindsey and Chris in the hospital and back at home many times. I remember sitting at the table in the kitchen with the patio doors open seeing white butterflies (which became a sign the Elsie was around) dancing around the garden while we talked and tried to make sense of what had happened. Stepping foot back in their lovely home bought back a lot of upsetting feelings for me, which I had to overcome each time. I needed to be strong for them. We quickly formed an amazing friendship from such a terrible, heart-breaking situation.

We talk every day and I give her reassurance when she needs it, we talk about Elsie, ‘that’ night, and guide each other through bad days. We also love to laugh! We both have 2 dogs who are our fur babies and love nothing better than doggy walks and sending updates of them. She makes fun of my vegan diet and weird taste in tea and we share our tales of our days.

I am so grateful to have been able to meet Elsie and continue to help her legacy live on. Now part of ‘Elsie’s family’ as they tell me, I have supported them from the first days after coming home from hospital, packing Elsie’s moses basket and bits around the house up when they chose to, through anger, tears and confusion, talking them through reports and results, and other very difficult times in the past year. I’ll continue to be there whenever that facebook messenger pings – through the rain and the rainbows.

When planning their daughter’s funeral, nothing any parent should ever do, Lindsey and Chris decided to create a fund called ‘Elsie’s Moon’. Originally they just wanted to donate in memory of Elsie to where they thought it could help others. They were soon blown away by the generosity of their family, friends and complete strangers, and soon after Elsie’s legacy began.

I am very fortunate to be a trustee of this incredible charity set up by Elsie’s amazing parents. Elsie’s Moon aims to support families when pregnancy doesn’t follow the plan. Whether that be support after a miscarriage, an unexpected transfer into hospital, a neonatal stay, after loss or just somebody to message for advice or support, we aim to be there.

We firstly developed our ‘Little Butterfly’ packs, given to those who aren’t able to create memories with their early loss. It contains helpful support information – including guidance to where to find professional support, a memorial candle, an angel peg doll, a certificate of life if requested and information regarding the charity. We currently have these available (all funded by Elsie’s Moon) online to order, and post out weekly to families that request them.

Next, we moved onto our ‘Elsie’s Essentials’ pack, as Lindsey and Chris were rushed into hospital unexpectedly, they didn’t have anything with them other than the clothes they were wearing. It was so important to them to create a pack for parents to be able to keep their dignity, they explained to me that even under the circumstances, and the fact they knew it didn’t matter in the grand scheme, they were very aware they hadn’t brushed their teeth or been able to spray deodorant. These packs contain items essential for the first night’s stay in hospital or emergency transfer in, such as toiletries, maternity pads, refreshments and a journal to record thoughts, feelings and any questions they may have. These are available in our local hospital, and also in the Ronald McDonald house there for Neo Natal stays too.

To assist in funding these, last October, I walked 15 miles in aid of the charity to fund packs and raised over £400. We have also raised money to fund packs by attending Christmas fairs selling Elsie’s Moon merchandise and raffling and holding events such as a Tapas and Bingo evening! We’ve raised over £10,000 in our first year, and plan to continue from strength to strength.

Now that the packs are in place and helping where needed, we have created fortnightly support classes for families when pregnancy doesn’t follow the plan. We sourced a lovely ‘safe’ location, and the perfect instructors to hold wellbeing classes. They are fully funded by the charity and include mindfulness, yoga, relaxation and more. The feedback we have received from the classes so far have brought us all to tears. The families are getting so much out of the hour, learning to manage their anxiety with different techniques as well as create new friends and continue talking and supporting each other in between sessions.

In the future, we hope to extend the ‘Little Butterfly’ packs into the early pregnancy assessment units where we are aware care received in these units lack resources to assist those in need. I am excited to be part of planning and delivering new support classes, including specific ‘rainbow baby’ antenatal sessions.

I have a passion to teach hypnobirthing sessions in which women and their birthing partners are educated on rights and choices in childbirth and methods of relaxation to use during the process. I am also trained in complementary therapies including reflex zone therapy, aromatherapy and massage, which I plan on bringing into my community classes.

I have a keen interest in developing bereavement care, which began my career as a midwife. I would love to be part of the change to improve services in follow up care, contact and advice provided. More often than not, women and their families find themselves alone with little support at such a difficult time, unaware of where to turn. I would like to see a system where families receive support for a non-specific amount of time from a dedicated midwife where the after care provided is tailored to the individual needs and wants of the family, to be present for parents who need the support. This also extends to subsequent pregnancies, which is such a difficult journey for families to take.

I hope to devote my career to empowering and educating women to own their pregnancy experience and provide the best possible care to those experiencing loss.

What Others Have Said

She’s more than ‘midwife of the year’, she’s our ‘gotcha back’ girl, she’s our supporter, she’s Elsie’s trustee, she’s our favourite dog walker… she’s our hero. We can honestly say we don’t know where we’d be right now without her guidance. We love her to the moon and back.